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Correct punctuation for showing a character's confusion



The 2019 Stack Overflow Developer Survey Results Are InPunctuation-Quote or Quote-Punctuation?Background speech with foreground dialogueIs there a standard for dealing with lyrics in dialogue and narration in creative writing?What is the correct casing for a character's title?Do you bold punctuation directly after bold text?Which one is the correct dialogue punctuation format?Punctuation help needed — first-time novelistCorrect punctuation for he said, she saidCapitalisation after punctuation in dialogueTrying to figure out the correct type punctuation for dialogues










5















I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)










share|improve this question






















  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    5 hours ago















5















I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)










share|improve this question






















  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    5 hours ago













5












5








5








I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)










share|improve this question














I'm trying to show that the narration (third person limited) is being interrupted by the character's thought process, and I'm not sure what punctuation is best for this situation.



So far, I've tried two approaches: dashes and parentheses. I'm not a huge fan of either. Is there a better way? Alternatively, is there a rule about which mark to use?



Here's an example:



1. Single Dash: The demon - she? He? gestured towards the supply wagons.



2. Parentheses: The demon (she? He?) gestured towards the supply wagons.



(The MC is meeting a pack of demons for the first time. She's not sure how to tell the two genders apart.)







style formatting punctuation






share|improve this question













share|improve this question











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asked 6 hours ago









Evil SparrowEvil Sparrow

1,003314




1,003314












  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    5 hours ago

















  • Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

    – Cyn
    5 hours ago
















Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

– Cyn
5 hours ago





Please enter your question on our weekly challenge. It qualifies. writing.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/1965/…

– Cyn
5 hours ago










2 Answers
2






active

oldest

votes


















7














Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






share|improve this answer























  • And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

    – Acccumulation
    2 hours ago











  • @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

    – Cyn
    9 mins ago


















2














I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






share|improve this answer























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    2 Answers
    2






    active

    oldest

    votes








    2 Answers
    2






    active

    oldest

    votes









    active

    oldest

    votes






    active

    oldest

    votes









    7














    Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




    The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




    Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



    Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



    Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



    Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






    share|improve this answer























    • And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

      – Acccumulation
      2 hours ago











    • @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

      – Cyn
      9 mins ago















    7














    Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




    The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




    Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



    Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



    Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



    Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






    share|improve this answer























    • And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

      – Acccumulation
      2 hours ago











    • @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

      – Cyn
      9 mins ago













    7












    7








    7







    Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




    The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




    Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



    Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



    Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



    Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.






    share|improve this answer













    Behold! The Mighty Ellipses!




    The demon...she? he?...gestured towards the supply wagons.




    Ultimately, it's a matter of personal style. Dashes, parentheses, ellipses are all correct.



    Part of the reason I prefer ellipses here is, as Amadeus points out, the gender ponderings aren't really an interruption. It's an aside. The narrator's mind is wandering. Ellipses are great for that as they tend to indicate a pause in addition to a change of course.



    Dashes also work great for asides, but don't indicate the same level of pause. Note: use a full sized dash (aka a double or em dash) and not a hyphen. Hyphens have other purposes.



    Parentheses are okay, especially since you have the question marks to make it clear, but wouldn't be the choice that helps the reader with the flow and rhythm of the sentence.







    share|improve this answer












    share|improve this answer



    share|improve this answer










    answered 5 hours ago









    CynCyn

    17.9k13883




    17.9k13883












    • And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

      – Acccumulation
      2 hours ago











    • @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

      – Cyn
      9 mins ago

















    • And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

      – Acccumulation
      2 hours ago











    • @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

      – Cyn
      9 mins ago
















    And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

    – Acccumulation
    2 hours ago





    And having capitalizing one but not the other is a bit jarring.

    – Acccumulation
    2 hours ago













    @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

    – Cyn
    9 mins ago





    @Acccumulation I assumed that was a typo, which is why I changed it in my version of the example.

    – Cyn
    9 mins ago











    2














    I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




    The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




    Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






    share|improve this answer



























      2














      I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




      The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




      Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






      share|improve this answer

























        2












        2








        2







        I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




        The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




        Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."






        share|improve this answer













        I use a double-dash, and specifically a double-dash (not an em dash), on both sides of the interruption.




        The demon -- he? she? -- gestured toward the supply wagons.




        Although in your example, the interruption doesn't make sense; it would not make sense to say "The demon she gestured toward the supply wagons."







        share|improve this answer












        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer










        answered 5 hours ago









        AmadeusAmadeus

        58.9k676188




        58.9k676188



























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