Extreme, unacceptable situation and I can't attend work tomorrow morning The 2019 Stack Overflow Developer Survey Results Are InWhat is different about how references work between Germany and UK/Ireland? My ex-manager doesn't want to give me a reference and I don't understandShould I tell on my colleague for not keeping to assigned work-hours and abusing work-hours as break time?I'm a freelancer and my boss fired me without real reason. How can I secure my work?Am I as an apprentice required to take my work-laptop with me after work and be on demand?Negotiating with a difficult company offering less than the market rate and trying to invalidate my previous work experience
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Extreme, unacceptable situation and I can't attend work tomorrow morning
The 2019 Stack Overflow Developer Survey Results Are InWhat is different about how references work between Germany and UK/Ireland? My ex-manager doesn't want to give me a reference and I don't understandShould I tell on my colleague for not keeping to assigned work-hours and abusing work-hours as break time?I'm a freelancer and my boss fired me without real reason. How can I secure my work?Am I as an apprentice required to take my work-laptop with me after work and be on demand?Negotiating with a difficult company offering less than the market rate and trying to invalidate my previous work experience
.everyoneloves__top-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__mid-leaderboard:empty,.everyoneloves__bot-mid-leaderboard:empty margin-bottom:0;
- My bride1 is pregnant.
- She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.
- I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.
- I am currently on a train, traveling to her.
- Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).
- Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.
I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.
Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.
How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?
Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.
1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.
germany personal-problems
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
|
show 12 more comments
- My bride1 is pregnant.
- She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.
- I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.
- I am currently on a train, traveling to her.
- Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).
- Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.
I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.
Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.
How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?
Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.
1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.
germany personal-problems
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
89
"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?
– nvoigt
2 days ago
4
(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.
– Sourav Ghosh
2 days ago
13
I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)
– Yakk
yesterday
14
@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."
– corsiKa
yesterday
4
The child has to live above everything. That should give you at least some peace of mind for doing the right thing, no matter how the thing goes with the job. Best wishes to you, your child and your wife.
– brett
11 hours ago
|
show 12 more comments
- My bride1 is pregnant.
- She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.
- I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.
- I am currently on a train, traveling to her.
- Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).
- Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.
I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.
Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.
How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?
Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.
1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.
germany personal-problems
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
- My bride1 is pregnant.
- She lives 1500 km away from me, in another country, in a low-developed region where public transport is slow.
- I did not talk with her for 3 days. It was my mistake. She became shocked and now she wants to abort the child.
- I am currently on a train, traveling to her.
- Tomorrow morning I am supposed to go to work, as usual. I won't be able to. (It is now Sunday evening there).
- Very surely, I will be unable to work on both Monday and Tuesday.
I work for a small company in Germany. I've worked here for some years, longer than most employees, but there is no guarantee that I won't lose my job over an unexpected absence like this. The company seems tolerant above the average for such events, but their patience surely has a limit. I feel I am near this limit now.
Being in the IT department, I could work also remotely, even on the train. This is not the custom of the company, and I need a boss to approve that.
How should I maximize my chances not to lose my job and to lose the least possible respect by my bosses?
Would it be better if I explain this situation? This personal problem probably looks quite different through the eyes of my boss.
1A bride is the woman with her you have a plan to marry, but it did not happen until now. After the wedding, she becomes wife. From a legal (incl. work law) view, it is nothing. In the common sense, a pregnant bride is a pregnant woman without a father. Any fair man, if his girlfriend becomes pregnant, marries her ASAP.
germany personal-problems
germany personal-problems
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
edited 9 hours ago
Gray Sheep
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
asked 2 days ago
Gray SheepGray Sheep
1,98241427
1,98241427
89
"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?
– nvoigt
2 days ago
4
(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.
– Sourav Ghosh
2 days ago
13
I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)
– Yakk
yesterday
14
@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."
– corsiKa
yesterday
4
The child has to live above everything. That should give you at least some peace of mind for doing the right thing, no matter how the thing goes with the job. Best wishes to you, your child and your wife.
– brett
11 hours ago
|
show 12 more comments
89
"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?
– nvoigt
2 days ago
4
(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.
– Sourav Ghosh
2 days ago
13
I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)
– Yakk
yesterday
14
@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."
– corsiKa
yesterday
4
The child has to live above everything. That should give you at least some peace of mind for doing the right thing, no matter how the thing goes with the job. Best wishes to you, your child and your wife.
– brett
11 hours ago
89
89
"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?
– nvoigt
2 days ago
"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?
– nvoigt
2 days ago
4
4
(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.
– Sourav Ghosh
2 days ago
(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.
– Sourav Ghosh
2 days ago
13
13
I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)
– Yakk
yesterday
I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)
– Yakk
yesterday
14
14
@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."
– corsiKa
yesterday
@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."
– corsiKa
yesterday
4
4
The child has to live above everything. That should give you at least some peace of mind for doing the right thing, no matter how the thing goes with the job. Best wishes to you, your child and your wife.
– brett
11 hours ago
The child has to live above everything. That should give you at least some peace of mind for doing the right thing, no matter how the thing goes with the job. Best wishes to you, your child and your wife.
– brett
11 hours ago
|
show 12 more comments
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?
Call as soon as you can get through.
Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck.
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
29
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
107
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
59
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
21
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
9
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
|
show 13 more comments
contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride
call him/her in the morning
Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
5
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
88
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
5
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
11
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
2
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).
From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.
IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).
Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
add a comment |
I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.
I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.
If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.
If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
15
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
4
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
3
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
6
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the wordPassdeutschermeaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.
– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
2
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
|
show 5 more comments
Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.
Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.
Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.
P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
1
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
2
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
add a comment |
Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.
"Dear [Bossname],
Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
in person this [Monsday].
Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
[Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
sure at the moment.
I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
again for the inconvenience.
Best regards,
John Doe"
On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
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6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
6 Answers
6
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?
Call as soon as you can get through.
Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck.
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
29
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
107
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
59
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
21
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
9
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
|
show 13 more comments
How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?
Call as soon as you can get through.
Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck.
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
29
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
107
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
59
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
21
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
9
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
|
show 13 more comments
How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?
Call as soon as you can get through.
Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck.
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
How to maximize my chance to not lose my job and to lose the least
possible respect by my bosses?
Call as soon as you can get through.
Tell your boss that a family emergency came up and you won't be there Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck.
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
answered 2 days ago
Joe StrazzereJoe Strazzere
255k1317391050
255k1317391050
29
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
107
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
59
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
21
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
9
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
|
show 13 more comments
29
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
107
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
59
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
21
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
9
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
29
29
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
@GraySheep - when I said "as soon as you can get through", I meant get through to work.
– Joe Strazzere
2 days ago
107
107
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
Realistically, it's not going to make much difference to your boss if he finds out late on Sunday evening or early on Monday morning. In his shoes I'd prefer not to have my sleep interrupted though.
– Matthew Barber
2 days ago
59
59
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
I think a text message and/or e-mail instead of calling would be better outside of working hours. As long as this doesn’t happen regularly I’d expect most managers to be tolerant and emphatic.
– Michael
yesterday
21
21
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
"Außergewöhnliche und unaufschiebbare Familienangelegenheit" for neutral tone that also conveys the seriousness of the situation
– Magisch
yesterday
9
9
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
Where is the medical emergency? His wife is pregnant (which in itself is surely no illness).
– FooTheBar
yesterday
|
show 13 more comments
contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride
call him/her in the morning
Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
5
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
88
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
5
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
11
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
2
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride
call him/her in the morning
Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
5
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
88
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
5
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
11
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
2
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride
call him/her in the morning
Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
contact your manager/boss by email/text. Tell him that there is a personal situation which requires your presence with your bride
call him/her in the morning
Don't be too specific on the details. If you don't ask for such things very often, then I would hope for the best.
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
edited yesterday
user87779
10525
10525
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
answered 2 days ago
SaschaSascha
8,58721739
8,58721739
5
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
88
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
5
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
11
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
2
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
5
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
88
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
5
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
11
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
2
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
5
5
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
I doubt "don't be too specific on the details" is a good recommendation. I would say the opposite: be open about the situation.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
88
88
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
The boss will almost certainly ask the question "when will you be back at work." Think about the answer to that before you start the phone call!
– alephzero
yesterday
5
5
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
@kapex I see your point, but if the boss is likely not to understand the situation, I think she would also not understand the "Family emergency. Period." -approach any better.
– Tero Lahtinen
yesterday
11
11
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
There is definitely a lot of options between giving the boss every detail and "Family emergency. Period." Something like "I had a family emergency come up with my fiance so I will be out of the office until at least Wednesday and possibly not until Friday", which give a little more detail, is much more personable, but doesn't go into the fine details of what is going on for the OP
– Kevin Wells
yesterday
2
2
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
In addition to @alphazero: Think about the answer before you start the phone call AND provide a realistic prognosis. Dont call on Monday to say you will be there on Wednesday, than call Tuesday night to say you will be there on Thursday, and so on...
– Ivana
19 hours ago
|
show 3 more comments
The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).
From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.
IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).
Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
add a comment |
The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).
From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.
IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).
Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
add a comment |
The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).
From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.
IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).
Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
The answers so far address the personal angle. Definitely call and explain (leaving out whatever personal details you wish).
From a legal perspective, google "Abwesenheit aus wichtigem persönlichen Grund" or similar phrases. Sadly, I'm in Austria right now and Google forces links related to Austrian law on me, but I remember from my time in Germany that this exists in German employee law as well.
IANAL but I have legal training and from my experience you should be legally in the clear. Another common use for this rule is people staying at home if their child is sick and the other parent can't take care of it (e.g. both parents are working).
Definitely do not falsely claim that you are sick. That would be grounds for an immediate termination if your lie is uncovered.
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
answered yesterday
TomTom
5,6461423
5,6461423
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
add a comment |
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
Did you try adding "Germany" (or rather, "Deutschland") to your search?
– jpmc26
9 hours ago
add a comment |
I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.
I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.
If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.
If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
15
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
4
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
3
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
6
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the wordPassdeutschermeaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.
– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
2
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
|
show 5 more comments
I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.
I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.
If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.
If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
15
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
4
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
3
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
6
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the wordPassdeutschermeaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.
– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
2
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
|
show 5 more comments
I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.
I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.
If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.
If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
I live and work in Germany, and have been both boss and employee.
I would say that the best way to proceed depends on your boss. Every country is like this, but there is certainly still some xenophobia in Germany.
If your boss is friendly towards foreigners, then I would give him full disclosure. Tell him exactly what is going on.
If your boss is generally somebody that looks down on foreigners, then I would give him/her as little information as possible. Giving him information, such as the fact that you have a bride in another country will just fuel his/her fire, and give him more reason to dislike the situation. In this case, just say that you have an extremely important life or death family matter that must be dealt with immediately. In this case, we mean life or death of the baby, but do not tell the boss that. If he presses for details, I would just say that, "I would prefer not to discuss it." No respectable person would press you for more details. If he forces you to give a valid excuse, then I would tell him that you would be glad to talk to HR about the situation. I can't see how a boss needs to know about your personal situation.
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
edited yesterday
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
answered 2 days ago
bremen_mattbremen_matt
30515
30515
15
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
4
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
3
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
6
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the wordPassdeutschermeaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.
– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
2
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
|
show 5 more comments
15
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
4
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
3
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
6
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the wordPassdeutschermeaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.
– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
2
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
15
15
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
Not sure this is relevant. Wife is living 1500km away, but that doesn't necessarily imply that OP is not German. In any case, he didn't mention any concern about possible xenophobia from his boss.
– dim
yesterday
4
4
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
You are right. I just assumed this to be the case.
– bremen_matt
yesterday
3
3
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
In any case, his hesitance toward just telling his boss seems to imply to me that he thinks that his boss will not take this well
– bremen_matt
yesterday
6
6
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word
Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
Then, again: the employee might still have Ukrain roots, be a russion speaker or whatever. German xenophobs recently came up with the word
Passdeutscher meaning soemone is german because their passport says so, Not because of their bloodline/origin.– Bernhard Döbler
yesterday
2
2
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
@dim He's "from a small Middle European country, not far away from Transsylvania", so most likely not German.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
|
show 5 more comments
Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.
Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.
Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.
P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
1
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
2
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
add a comment |
Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.
Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.
Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.
P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
1
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
2
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
add a comment |
Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.
Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.
Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.
P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
Already a bit late, but at the companies where I have worked this would be handled by calling the immediate superior and asking for a day off or two (Gleitzeit/Urlaub) because of a family emergency. HR and higher management would not even know that something unusual happened. However, if your company is very small, things might work differently.
Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor. But I would not recommend that in this case, as employers take that very seriously and some coworkers do not really like that either.
Even if your employer thinks that "troublesome girlfriend" is not a valid excuse for missing work, you might still just get a Abmahnung (kind of a last warning) instead of firing you. But that obviously depends a lot on your boss.
P.S. a short google search suggests that an Abmahnung is indeed mandatory before firing someone for missing work. I any case, I would still strongly suggest to try to solve this without getting an Abmahnung.
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
edited yesterday
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
answered yesterday
JanJan
1173
1173
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
1
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
2
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
add a comment |
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
1
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
2
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
Note that the three sick days count calendar days, so that only allows him Monday.
– Martin Schröder
yesterday
1
1
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
No. Three calendar days means that if he gets sick on Friday, he has to see the doctor on Monday. If he gets sick on Monday, he has to see the doctor on Thursday. But as said, this is not what I would recommend anyway.
– Jan
yesterday
2
2
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
"Many German employees can also take sick leave for up to three days without seeing the doctor." Faking an illness can be grounds for immediate termination (Fristlose Kuendigung), so yeah that sounds like a less than brilliant plan indeed.
– Voo
yesterday
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
@Voo OP's situation causes a lot of tension and stress on him, which could/does affect his ability to work. I'd say that qualifies for a sick leave for psychological reasons. And I know there are general practitioners in Germany that certify the incapacity for work.
– Arsak
21 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
I would still be careful with this. I personally would do this only if a) I am convinced I am unfit for work, b) I am convinced I can convince my boss I am unfit for work, or c) the choice is between potential termination if I get caught and certain termination if I have no excuse for not showing up to work (e.g. after a prior formal warning). I am not sure any of these apply here, thus "not recommended".
– Jan
20 hours ago
add a comment |
Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.
"Dear [Bossname],
Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
in person this [Monsday].
Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
[Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
sure at the moment.
I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
again for the inconvenience.
Best regards,
John Doe"
On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.
"Dear [Bossname],
Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
in person this [Monsday].
Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
[Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
sure at the moment.
I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
again for the inconvenience.
Best regards,
John Doe"
On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.
"Dear [Bossname],
Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
in person this [Monsday].
Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
[Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
sure at the moment.
I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
again for the inconvenience.
Best regards,
John Doe"
On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Putting some existing answers together in a more verbatim manner.
"Dear [Bossname],
Due to an unfortunate family event, involving my pregnant fiancée
living in [Neverneverland], I will be unable to be at [Workplace City]
in person this [Monsday].
Currently, I am on my way to [Neverneverland]. I will be able to work
remotely for [Doomsday] and [Damsday]. As for the time since
[Thenday], I am not sure if I will be able to work. I will keep you
informed. Please count these days as my payed leave, if it will not
work out. I plan to be back by [Monsday next week], but cannot say for
sure at the moment.
I apologise deeply for this sudden and unexpected leave, but the
situation is urgent. I will be available per phone and email today and
on [Doomsday]. From [Damsday] onward I am in [Neverneverland] and
would be available per email and [Telegraph] chat only. I apologise
again for the inconvenience.
Best regards,
John Doe"
On a separate notice I wish OP good luck and an understanding from his employer.
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
edited 7 hours ago
bruglesco
5,23451746
5,23451746
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
answered 9 hours ago
Oleg LobachevOleg Lobachev
1313
1313
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Oleg Lobachev is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
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89
"And feel I near this limit now" why do you feel that way? It seems this is a one-time occurrence for you, what else happened that you think they reached a "limit"?
– nvoigt
2 days ago
4
(With a reason, communicated properly) Why not showing up at work will cause you lose your job? That's what extreme.
– Sourav Ghosh
2 days ago
13
I suspect you aren't using "Bride" quite correctly. "Bride" usually refers to a woman who is currently in the process of getting married. "Wife" is a woman who is married. "Engaged" is someone who is going to get married. "My Wife" refers to someone who is married to you; "My Bride" is someone you are currently getting married to. (the exact period over which you are "getting married" as opposed to "being married" is fuzzy, admittedly)
– Yakk
yesterday
14
@Yakk English is probably not their first language. The substance of the question or answers would not be significantly different if it was correctly "girlfriend," "fiance," "wife," "future mother of my child," or even "side piece."
– corsiKa
yesterday
4
The child has to live above everything. That should give you at least some peace of mind for doing the right thing, no matter how the thing goes with the job. Best wishes to you, your child and your wife.
– brett
11 hours ago